Care
by Not Just a Nerd
Summary: If she doesn't care, he isn't going to either. It's not like him to care about anyone anyway. That would be like life unfolding backwards, or apples floating in the sky. Damon/Elena. Damon's POV. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries. **

* * *

_"You'd think that I'll learn my lesson by now, you'd think that I'd somehow figure out..." _

* * *

If she doesn't care, he isn't going to either. It's not like him to care about anyone anyway. That would be like life unfolding backwards, or apples floating in the sky.

* * *

"I love Stefan." She repeats for the fifth time, if he can admit to himself that he's been counting, which he can't, because hey, he doesn't care! He rolls his eyes, wondering if she is aiming the words at him or at Stefan, or if she is just trying to convince herself. Her voice stays firm and confident, but there's a visible quiver in her eyes that he can see, a kind of flinching anger and burning passion combined with what seems like a hint of second thoughts. She turns around, walking away, making her point clear- she doesn't care.

If he tries hard enough he can prove that she does care, but again, he doesn't care, so nope.

* * *

It hurts. He can switch off pain any time he wants, and that's what he does. That is when this incredible anger takes control of him. He listens to every kind of music he can find from every single year he has lived- junk, rock, metal being his pick, but nothing seems to calm down his anger at all- the only thing it does is makes him even more angry. So he tries breaking the furniture at his house, he tries howling out loud, he tries running around tugging on his hair. All it does is makes him breathless, makes sweat bathe his whole pained body, makes his chest fall up and down with deep strained breaths.

It hurts even more than it did at that moment. And he can't do a damn thing about it, because if he goes around feeding on people and killing anyone he finds and cursing in his drunken state, he is going to prove that he cares, which he doesn't.

* * *

He still asks himself why he handled over the fucking-vampire-killing-weapon to her; he still wonders why exactly he trusted her. He knows nothing, but he knows something, and it's so complicated that he knows his head would pound if he even tries to figure out where the hell the knot in his heart is. It doesn't matter though, because he doesn't bloody care.

* * *

He's "The friend". He thinks he needs to have a label attacked to his back stating this, or maybe a big fat tattoo, because every damn time he goes anywhere near her, his annoying little brother is standing in the way, playing the role of the stupid over-protective boyfriend. He wonders why he doesn't trust her even when he _claims _he loves her so much, or maybe it is him that he doesn't trust, but hey, you can't clap with one hand, so there's that point that he would have brought up if he cared, which he doesn't.

Bumping shoulders hard with Stefan is just an instinct anyway.

* * *

"_Why Stefan? Why not Damon?" _He's a bit surprised to realize that he has actually been thinking over Isobel's words again and again, like it's a tape on his old VCR that is stuck at one place, and he is almost scared to see that he would really like to know the answer to the question, because hey, curiosity killed the cat. He believes in this, because he did kill the annoying little cat that was staring at him curiously two days after Katherine's "death". That's heartless Damon for you, and there's the proof that he doesn't fucking care about anything in this world, except his daily dose of blood maybe?

* * *

He keeps searching for the answer that is locked within Elena's heart. He thinks over all the possible logical explanations. Stefan's the good guy; she's the good guy, and bingo. Though last time he checked, opposites attract, and that's the part where he is stuck, for only a moment of course, because hello, he doesn't care.

* * *

It's so damn hard watching her with someone else all the day. And it's so damn hard to see how damn hard she is trying to ignore his presence. He can see her eyes drift to his for a fraction of a second; he can see her fidget with her hands and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He can totally see through that fake smile in her face and see what is really going on- she is trying to send the message that she doesn't care. If the message is that she is lying to herself, he thinks he got it.

He is better at this game though, because he is not even trying to look away. He is staring at her, smirking, and making her uncomfortable, making his brother insecure and hey look, he just totally proved that he cares. About having fun that is, vampires do a lot of things when they are bored after all, and making sappy-mushy Stefan-Elena rom-boredom a bit more interesting is like breathing in space, but since he's good at it, it's kind of sort of somewhat fun.

* * *

He just doesn't get her. She tries to make him a good guy, she's there for him when she thinks he needs her, she claims she's his friend and proves it all the damn time, and she says she cares about him. If that is everything, then he knows nothing, because something tells him she cares about his totally non-existent feelings for her, but whatever, who cares? Not him.

He is too busy not caring to care if she cares about him, and he doesn't even care if any of this makes sense or not. It's not like him to care about anything anyway. That would be like life unfolding backwards, or apples floating in the sky.

* * *

**Lyrics from "Learn my lesson" by Chris Daughtry.  
**


End file.
